How do you make a baby?

This is a sponsored post for Queensland Fertility Group

Easy question, right?  (Well unless you're trying to explain it to a small child)

Everyone knows you just need to get jiggy with it and boom you'll get pregnant. Easy. 

At least that's what those sex ed teachers told us in highschool. Well technically they were trying to scare us into making sure we didn't get pregnant. "If you have unprotected sex even once you will get pregnant!" Although not many of us paid attention during those classes, I totally believed them that I'd get pregnant the moment I had unprotected sex. All the teenage pregnancy warnings thoroughly scared the crap out of me. Which was probably a good thing because I definitely didn't want a baby back then.

A few years later when I was 23, I was ready to have a baby, and I naturally thought it would be as easy as stopping the pill and I'd get pregnant. I didn't think I'd be lucky enough to fall pregnant straight away, but I didn't think it'd be that hard either. Wrong. After 12 months of trying with no luck I started thinking those sex ed teachers had seriously lied to me. I mean hello - I was purposefully having unprotected sex and not getting pregnant and they told me even if I did it accidentally I'd get pregnant. Way to give a girl false expectations. After 12 months of nothing happening we got referred to the fertility clinic at our local hospital.

I never knew trying for a baby was such a complex process. I guess it doesn't feel that way for those who are lucky enough to fall pregnant without knowing all the science behind it all. When you go through a fertility specialist you soon learn just how many factors can actually affect your fertility.

The most important factor affecting a woman's ability to conceive is her age. Once women are over 36 they have half as much chance of conceiving as they would have when they were 20. Age is probably the only fertility factor I was remotely aware of before trying to conceive. Of course at 23, I didn't think my age would be a factor. What I wasn't aware of was just how much cycles, ovulation, egg quality, timing, health and general lifestyle factors also play a part in conception. There's also a number of reproductive conditions that can affect fertility and you might not even know you suffer from them, I didn't.

The infertility rollercoaster was a very unpredictable and daunting process for us at the time. There were lots of emotional highs and lows. To cut a long story short, my ex-husband and I actively tried to conceive for almost 3 years. We exhausted all of the free fertility testing options at the local hospital over the course of a year and still never once got pregnant. Our next step was to be referred onto Queensland Fertility Group (QFG) to look into other options, but our relationship broke down before we went ahead with an appointment. Looking back now I'm actually glad I never conceived with him given how toxic our relationship was. Perhaps destiny somehow had a hand in that, because I then went on to meet T and our journey has had a much better result.

T and I decided to try for a baby, knowing full well that I'd probably have trouble conceiving. Still we decided to go au natural again just to see what would happen. I had this misconstrued theory that maybe I'd magically get pregnant because I was now trying with another man (even though it was me who had the fertility issues). Surprise, surprise that didn't work. After six months of trying and nothing happening we went straight to QFG to check on everything and start fertility treatment. I didn't want to dilly dally around this time. I knew time was ticking away and I didn't want to get past 30 and think gee I really wish I had've done that sooner. 

Before I began fertility treatment I was quite apprehensive. The emotional lows of not conceiving made me start thinking it would never work. I was still optimistic, but I let my negative thoughts take over at times. I was petrified of my first visit to QFG, mainly because of the unknown. Our dr made us feel so comfortable and reassured of the process that any apprehension I had before was quickly gone. I came away from that appointment with a whole new attitude - I had a renewed sense of determination and a very positive outlook.

After initial testing I was quickly diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). The short explanation of PCOS is that it means I don't ovulate each month, instead my eggs turn into cysts. At the time I was diagnosed I think I had 13 cysts on one ovary and 9 on the other. Being diagnosed with PCOS was actually a good thing because I finally had an answer as to why I hadn't been conceiving. Knowing what the issue was meant we had a plan of action to tackle it. In our case that meant ovulation induction, which lead to this...

For some of us the journey to conception can be hard, but there is always hope. I'm so grateful that I experienced fertility issues in a time when there are so many medical options available to help. If you're planning on conceiving soon or have been having trouble falling pregnant QFG now offer a free fertility insights program to help you get started on the path to conception. Words cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for Dr Ben Kroon and QFG. They have given us the greatest gift ever and I simply cannot thank them enough. We're currently discussing when to try for another baby and although we haven't come to a decision yet, we have definitely agreed we will be going back to see the team at QFG when we're ready.

Toni x


* I understand its an unwritten law for sex ed teachers to scare teenagers out of having sex by any means necessary. I hereby forgive my teachers for inexplicably creating my false expectations regarding pregnancy.

Disclosure - this is a sponsored post for Queensland Fertility Group in conjunction with Digital Parents Collective as per my disclosure policy.